On Patience and Puppies
For most of my life, I thought of myself as a patient person. I didn’t mind waiting in long lines. I could sit through awkward meetings without checking the clock. I didn’t snap at slow walkers or drivers who didn’t use their turn signals. I figured patience was just part of my wiring.
Then I brought home a puppy.
It turns out that patience in the abstract is very different from patience in practice, especially when practice looks like standing outside at six in the morning in your pajamas, whispering “please just pee” while your dog sniffs the same patch of grass for the third time. Or when you spend an entire afternoon trying to convince a fifteen-pound creature that the vacuum is not, in fact, trying to kill her.
With a puppy, patience isn’t about waiting gracefully. It’s about being interrupted a hundred times a day and learning to let go of the version of the day you thought you’d have. It’s about sitting on the floor while tiny teeth gnaw on the edge of your sleeve, counting quiet breaths so you don’t lose your temper. It’s about surrendering control over how fast (slow) things happen, and letting go of control.
The hardest part is that the progress is so invisible. There’s no checklist you get to tick off. One day the accidents in the house just stop. One day she sits when you ask, without the lure of a treat. One day you realize you’ve made it through the whole morning without a disaster and you didn’t even notice because it finally felt normal.
I’ve had to learn that patience isn’t passive. It’s not just waiting for things to get better. It’s choosing, over and over again, to respond gently when you could snap. To laugh instead of sigh. To roll up the rug and put away the shoes and accept that your home and your life won’t feel quite like yours.
And strangely, this kind of patience has made other parts of my life easier. I don’t care as much when things run behind schedule. I don’t mind when plans change. I’ve stopped expecting things to work on the first try.
I still think I’m a patient person. But now I know that patience isn’t something you have. It’s something you practice. Every day. Sometimes with treats in your pocket.
